Father’s Day is coming this weekend, and I want to take a moment to encourage the Father’s along their way, because parenting is hard. Being a Father isn’t easy, it isn’t for the faint of heart.
Father’s In Culture
I began to notice in the 90s a trend in movies and television towards portraying father’s as idiots. Fools. Clowns that had no clue what was going on in their family. Fathers were being shown as bumbling, clumsy, and dimwitted. They were the comic relief.
Dads are still portrayed this way, only now it seems that more and more Dads are either not present, or an active malevolent force in the family.
And now adult masculinity is seen as something toxic and suspicious.
Our culture is furiously trying to eliminate any distinction between genders at all. Gender is becoming an individual construct, that can change at a whim.
Interestingly, that homogenized concept of gender is never masculine – it is always feminized. This emerging concept of gender is not the blending of male and female, it is the elimination of the masculine altogether.
So, then, how is a Father to act in this blizzard of conflicting messages?
For sure, we need to get rid of the silly stereotypes of masculinity that have existed in our culture. Men don’t cry. Men like sports, and red meat, and hunting and/or fishing. Men don’t cook, clean, or show their feelings.
Etc, etc, etc. Those are silly things, just like the other stereotypes about women are silly.
But that just tells us what not to do (which we have all heard), but how is a Father to act in these weird times?
The Masculinity of Jesus
Obviously, the ultimate picture of what a man is can be found in Jesus.
There almost countless observations we could make,but I want to just make 2:
1- Take Responsibility for Yourself, Then Others
Jesus not only lived a model life, He also entered into the lives of others and took responsibility for problems he didn’t create.
Single men should be willing to date and marry single Moms.
This starts with your wife and kids, then moves out from there.
This looks like the Dad who danced with his daughter on stage…
Not only is this a great picture of the heart of Jesus, but it is a great picture of true, Biblical, masculinity.
Link to video: https://youtu.be/-xFJqHuPUPg
2- Have Your Own Mind
Know what you think about things that are important, and be comfortable saying it. First, about theology – Who is God? Second, about who you are and who God has called you to be right now.
Never give over your own mind to someone else to control or manipulate. Learn to think, and to think clearly.
This does not mean that you don’t listen. That’s arrogant! Listen to people that you respect, but always take what they say and bring it into your own mind where you decide what you think. A man that knows his own mind is also happy to be with others that are the same way!
So often I meet men that don’t seem to be able to think independently for themselves. They go through life parroting other people, or pretending not to have an opinion for fear of being contradictory.
I don’t think this is a small thing! I think Dads in particular feels as if they had to leave their minds at the door, they can’t think for themselves anymore. So they just spend their days shuffling around behind their wife and kids like zombie Dads with no will or intention in life.
So, don’t be a jerk. Don’t be arrogant. Be a listener. But please have your own mind about things that matter in life.